hamlet-the-toaster-of-vengeance: beholdthemem:...

hamlet-the-toaster-of-vengeance:

beholdthemem:
beholdthemem:
beholdthemem:
beholdthemem:
beholdthemem:
Everything’s always goth/prep or goth/jock. Where’s goth/nerd.
Nerd: I’m telling you, this is exactly your kind of thing!
Goth: It really isn’t.
Nerd: It is! This is classic goth, the original goth-
Goth: There are no words that can describe how much I hate the words coming out of your mouth right now.
Nerd: Oh my God, if you would just listen-
Goth: For the last time, I said-
Nerd: “Because I could not stop for Death/ He kindly stopped for me/ The Carriage held but just Ourselves/ And Immortality.”
Goth: …
Goth: …read the rest.
Goth: Here.
Nerd: Aw, you got me something? Thank-
Nerd: …
Goth: That’s the book you wanted, right? First edition.
Nerd: Where did you get this?
Goth: The secondhand store has a bunch of old books in the back. Sometimes they’ll let me take the really beat up ones for free if they don’t think they can sell them. I’m think that’s first edition? I looked for all the shit you said, published 1899, Little, Brown & Company, blue-
Nerd: Blue and gilt stamped green cloth, the original dust jacket. It’s- yeah! It is! It really is! It’s- wait, how did you know to look for all that?
Goth: You told me. I just said that.
Nerd: But I- that was like, a month ago.
Goth: Yeah.
Nerd: I talked for two hours.
Goth: Yeah.
Nerd: I- But- Two hours! You don’t care about this stuff! You don’t care about any of this, I know you don’t, I was- I was just talking, I wasn’t expecting you to- I wasn’t trying to make you, I didn’t think any of it was- I thought you were just being nice and letting me talk!
Goth: First of all, I don’t do nice. If I wanted you to shut up, I would have told you.
Nerd: Yeah, but-
Goth: And second- I don’t always get what you’re saying or why you care, but I know that it’s important to you. I might not get it, but I do listen.
Okay I know this whole thing’s about goth/nerd, but I have to admit I also love the idea of nerd/class clown, just because I’m a slut for mutual pining where both sides think the other’s way out of their league.
It’s ‘They’re so funny, and good with people, and everybody likes being around them, they always know what to say to make everyone laugh instead of getting angry, and they’ve always got a comeback instead of stuttering and getting nervous, and God they’re just so COOL’
and
They’re so smart, they see connections and patterns where I just see letters and numbers, they open up those giant books and see an opportunity instead of a punishment, they never feel stupid when the teacher calls on them and need to make a joke so everybody will laugh about that instead of how dumb they are, and when they talk about the things they love, it’s like you can see the whole universe in their eyes’
and this silent, aching, pining behind a big goofy grin and a quiet little smile because ‘God, what would somebody like that ever see in someone as pathetic as me?’
Y'know what, let’s bring it around to Goth/Class Clown too, we’re going full circle.
Goth(Sitting in what was SUPPOSED to be a Secret Alone Spot): You know, most people are smart enough to realize by the third death threat that they aren’t wanted around.
Class Clown(With a shit eating grin): Well, nobody ever said I was smart.
Goth(Pinching bridge of nose with a sigh): What do you WANT?
Class Clown(Counting things off on fingers): A hamster, some nachos, a C in geometry so I can finally stop re-taking the class, world peace, a battery powered battery charger, for cell phone charms to finally make a comeback, a-
Goth(Looking up to glare): Why are you here?
Class Clown(Holding out a slightly squished donut, carefully wrapped in a napkin): You left before that girl from student council started giving out have-a-nice-winter-break donuts.
Goth: …I don’t need that.
Class Clown: Okay, nobody actually needs a donut, but I thought you might at least want it.
[Goth says nothing, narrowing eyes at Clown. Class Clown continues offering, regardless]
Class Clown(Waggling donut encouragingly): Ehhhh?
Goth(Gingerly taking it at last): I’ll take it if you stop making that noise.
Class Clown(Cheerfully): Done!
Goth(Peeling napkin off the top of donut, squinting at it a little): What did you even say to her to get this? The only person she hates more than you is me.
Class Clown(Waving a dismissive hand): She doesn’t HATE you-
Goth: Bullshit.
Class Clown: She… strongly dislikes you. Aaaand… also isn’t huge on me. But she does like that kid on the volleyball team, and THEY like me, so-
Goth(Mid-bite): I refuse to believe that was enough to get one for me, too.
Class Clown(Dodging the question): Mm….
Goth: So then how did- wait, is this YOUR donut?!
Class Clown: I like to think donuts don’t really belong to anyone-
Goth(Shoving it towards Clown): TAKE IT BACK.
Class Clown(Fighting Goth off): You already ate half of it!
Goth(Still angrily pushing the donut towards Clown’s face): I DON’T WANT IT, TAKE IT BACK-
Class Clown(Incredulous and exasperated): OH MY GOD, why do you make it so hard to do things for you?! You’re acting like I gave it to you after I licked it or something-
Goth(Eyes widening in horror): Wh-
Class Clown(Frantically clarifying): I DIDN’T! I did not touch it, this was a pure, virgin donut, unsullied by mortal hands or spit-
Goth: Absolutely disgusting-
Class Clown: THERE WAS NO SPIT ON THAT DONUT.
Goth(Finally giving up on getting Clown to take the donut, but angrily putting it down anyway): I don’t want your pity.
Class Clown(Flinging hands into the air): IT’S A DONUT. C’mon, dude-
Goth(Glaring): Bite me.
Class Clown(Giving a short sigh of frustration): Look. I didn’t get this for you because of pity. I was gonna just get one for me, but when I looked in the box, there were like- five left, and most of them were flavors that I’m like… fine with, but not really huge on? Better than no donut, so I was just gonna get one I didn’t hate. But then I noticed they had one of those coffee ones.
Goth: ….
Class Clown: And I don’t care about the coffee ones. I can take or leave them. But you like the coffee ones.
Goth(Suspicious): ….why do you know that.
Class Clown(Shrugging): It’s what you always have with you before first period.
Goth(Taken aback): Why do you remember that?
Class Clown(Shrugging again, slightly self conscious): I don’t know? I just notice stuff after a while, I guess? Little details. Anyway, I remembered this is the kind you like, so I thought maybe you’d want it. That’s it.
Goth: …
Class Clown(Eyeing the half eaten donut between them meaningfully): Look, if you’re not eating it, fine, but I’m not taking your leftovers buddy.
Goth(Picking it up again, after a minute): I didn’t ask you to do this, you know.
Class Clown(Unbothered, stretching): Yeah, I know.
Goth: …why do you even care?
Class Clown(Leaning back on their palms and staring at the sky): I dunno, man.
Class Clown: I think we’ve both had a bad day, and this seems to be like, one of maybe three things in the world that makes you happy.
how about yes