notquitetwilight:

we all joke about how alice has no idea how to take care of human bella bc she has no recollection of being human but I wanna say by that logic we need to call bullshit on all these cutesy “aunt alice” narratives because that girl does not remember being a child and has never so much as spoken to a kid in her entire vampire life so when resume comes along she’s definitely like moira rose in the schitt’s creek babysitting episode. “the bébé is crying. isn’t it scheduled to be dormant by now?” “EEWWW ITS BODY IS EJECTING THINGS”

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    we all joke about how alice has no idea how to take care of human bella bc she has no recollection of being human but I...